Myrtle, the Obnoxious Ghost Roommate: The Dinner Party
A house ghost is not all it's cracked up to be.
I was still a bit nervous about tonight. I had friends coming over for dinner, including my hopefully future girlfriend, Melissa. I had a long talk with Myrtle two days ago about how she should behave at this dinner. I say it was a talk; it was me listing all the things that she should not do during the party.
“If I want to introduce you to my guests, I’ll let you know and tell you how to interact with them,” I instructed her.
Up until the morning of the dinner, I hadn’t decided if I wanted to tell my guests about Myrtle. I rarely talk about her. I never know how people will react. I don’t want to look like a crazy woo-woo guy. But I really needed Melissa to be cool with it.
At around six, my guests started arriving. Melissa arrived, and I made sure she had a glass of wine within minutes. Myrtle was behaving herself.
As we were finishing our meal, I decided to bring up Myrtle.
“Hey guys, don’t worry about clearing your plates. I have a surprise,” I started. “Don't freak out, I have a very special helper. Myrtle, clear the plates."
Nothing happened.
"She's temperamental," I said, smiling as my cheeks became hot.
"Do you have a robot?" Larry asked. "Aren’t you supposed to say ‘Alexa’?”
A couple of the other guests chuckled.
“Clear the plates, Myrtle,” I said in my sternest yet most chill voice.
After a few seconds, plates hovered above the table before they whizzed past the guests at nearly the speed of sound. Bits of food flew off the plates and onto the floor on their way into the kitchen. We heard loud clangs as Myrtle dropped each plate into the sink. This is why I don’t have nice things.
“What the fuck was that?” Simon asked, almost shouting.
“That’s Myrtle, my ghost,” I said, a big grin on my face.
“That is so cool,” Melissa said.
Yes!
The rest of the evening was ghost this and ghost that. Who was Myrtle? How long has she been here? Why does she do your bidding? I got bored talking about her and ended the party. Myrtle really came through for me this time, though.
And Melissa was cool with it. She’d get a private performance later.